Wednesday, September 19, 2007
Practice News Story 3: Break in at LDS Church
Yesterday in the early morning a Logan Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints meeting house was broken into and vandalized. Sheriff Deputy Geoffrey Hasty says they estimate the break in was between 2 and 4 a.m. They have two individuals that are of interest and are currently being questioned. Fingerprints and other evidence was found.They entered the building through a window that was left unlocked and two CPU's were taken. They estimate the loss to be about $700. It is not a common occurrence in Logan, neighbors of the building say that nothing like this has ever happened there before. It's usually such a safe place to live. Authorities do not think that this was an act of religious discrimination, they believe it was just an act of desperation.
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3 comments:
There was a lot of information presented in the blog, but it was kind of jumbled together. Try seperating the ideas into different paragraphs, even if they are short. Also you use they a lot, try to be more descriptive of the person, organization, or thing you are referring to. Instead of just stating back in your words what someone says, try and put it into a quote, makes the story more real. I think that the ideas are all there, they just need a little clarification and organization.
good job overall. i think it would be beneficial to use quotes of some of the individuals interviewed. also you could have covered a little more in depth.
You got all of the information out quickly. You could have separated some of the story into paragraphs, but good job getting out the important information first.
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